For those who have never been to one, sex parties, orgies, and kink events can feel like the stuff of legends, movies, and – should they fumble it – absolute nightmares.

If you’re anything like the team at Sextras (none of which has been to a sex party, shockingly… we’ll wait for your invites), you’ll picture turning up to your first sex party in entirely the wrong attire, finding yourself gawking mouth wide open at the scenes around you, and stumbling over your words – or worse, slipping on lube.

It’s been over 10 years since Fifty Shades of Grey came out, but the misconceptions it spewed about sexual domination and submission linger in the minds of many. 

For a lot of people, the idea of dominating someone in the bedroom means owning them, controlling them, having complete power to do anything you want, with the submissive being helpless. 

This pop culture hit has poisoned the idea of S&M for people who don’t know any better, with a poor portrayal of both doms and subs. The cultural impact is felt even years later.

Christian Grey, the supposed dominator, stalks Anastasia, breaks into her home, accosts her friends, and constantly crosses boundaries, trying to dominate her whole life, not just the sex between them.