For those who have never been to one, sex parties, orgies, and kink events can feel like the stuff of legends, movies, and – should they fumble it – absolute nightmares.

If you’re anything like the team at Sextras (none of which has been to a sex party, shockingly… we’ll wait for your invites), you’ll picture turning up to your first sex party in entirely the wrong attire, finding yourself gawking mouth wide open at the scenes around you, and stumbling over your words – or worse, slipping on lube.

It’s been over 10 years since Fifty Shades of Grey came out, but the misconceptions it spewed about sexual domination and submission linger in the minds of many. 

For a lot of people, the idea of dominating someone in the bedroom means owning them, controlling them, having complete power to do anything you want, with the submissive being helpless. 

This pop culture hit has poisoned the idea of S&M for people who don’t know any better, with a poor portrayal of both doms and subs. The cultural impact is felt even years later.

Christian Grey, the supposed dominator, stalks Anastasia, breaks into her home, accosts her friends, and constantly crosses boundaries, trying to dominate her whole life, not just the sex between them. 

Sextras discovers there is far more beneath the surface when it comes to journalling about your sex life, including the mental-health and libido-boosting benefits of the practice. This is not, friends, the Notes app list you kept as a teenager to remember the names of the people you’d hooked up with. Daniella Parete Clarke consults sexologist and relationships expert Sofie Roos to find out more

I’m not one for loud music, sticky floors, the smell of vodka, or anything that feels performative. When I first started exploring sex parties, it took a lot of trial and error to find spaces that weren’t overcrowded, high-energy, or run by organisers who seemed more interested in profit than creating a meaningful experience.

What I really wanted was a space where I could connect with people who, like me, valued sensual touch and massage as a form of intimacy and pleasure. That’s how I ended up at a Pleasure Island Party, and let me tell you – it was unlike any other sex party I’d been to.

Honey Wyatt asks the experts what to expect in our sex lives for 2025.

A push and pull emerged in the cultural zeitgeist in 2024. On one side of the internet (no prizes for guessing which the Sextras team is on…), brat summer dominated, with younger generations embracing the feral, party girl persona. Nipples, or at least their outline, were on full display; there was no shortage of drugs or alcohol; and the warmer weekends became the perfect playground for unleashed debauchery and messiness.

Whether you’re a beginner at anal sex or a seasoned bottom, Honey Wyatt speaks to anal sex doctor Evan Goldstein about how to prepare for safe and hygienic anal sex