The last time I went to a sex party

April Maria, a sex educator and content creator from JOYclub shares her experience at a sensual sex party

I’m not one for loud music, sticky floors, the smell of vodka, or anything that feels performative. When I first started exploring sex parties, it took a lot of trial and error to find spaces that weren’t overcrowded, high-energy, or run by organisers who seemed more interested in profit than creating a meaningful experience.

What I really wanted was a space where I could connect with people who, like me, valued sensual touch and massage as a form of intimacy and pleasure. That’s how I ended up at a Pleasure Island Party, and let me tell you – it was unlike any other sex party I’d been to.

I first met Jessica Parker, the founder of Pleasure Island Parties, through an interview at JOYclub, the sex-positive community where I work. The way she spoke about her events had me instantly hooked – oils, massages, embodied sensations, guided touch. It all sounded so different from the usual high-energy, nightclub-style sex parties. But when she mentioned the strict no-drunk rule, I knew I had to try it for myself.

The moment I arrived, I could feel the difference. Instead of blaring house music and dimly lit corners, I walked into a space filled with smooth jazz and soft, reddish-orange lighting. The floor was padded with towels, blankets, and scattered feathers, inviting people to get comfortable.

The biggest contrast? People were actually present. No awkward, tipsy small talk – just genuine conversations between guests getting to know one another. You can bring your own drinks, but the rule is simple: you can’t be drunk. It makes a huge difference when it comes to tapping into your body’s sensations and engaging meaningfully with a partner – especially when they’re a stranger.

Read more: Neither kink nor vanilla: EYNTK about sensation play

Once we’d all settled in and slipped into our sensual outfits (mostly lace in creams and pastels), we were invited to take part in optional bonding exercises. These involved shared touch, massage, oils, and different forms of sensation – sometimes with your chosen partner, sometimes with strangers.

You could feel the shift in the room. Everyone dropped into their bodies, their nervous systems relaxing as their worries drifted away. The energy was sensual, not overtly sexual.

From there, the night unfolded naturally. There was no pressure to do anything, and Jessica and her team remained in the room for guidance and support. Some couples stayed within their pairs, while others explored sensual touch with new partners or simply observed if they were invited to. There were props available too, which is how I discovered that I absolutely love being touched by a vampire glove – a completely new sensation that sent tingles through my entire body.

By the end of the night, I felt enlightened. This was exactly the kind of sex party I had been looking for. If you’re curious about exploring these kinds of spaces but don’t enjoy loud music, crowds, alcohol, or drugs, I can’t recommend it enough. You never know what you might discover.