For those who have never been to one, sex parties, orgies, and kink events can feel like the stuff of legends, movies, and – should they fumble it – absolute nightmares.

If you’re anything like the team at Sextras (none of which has been to a sex party, shockingly… we’ll wait for your invites), you’ll picture turning up to your first sex party in entirely the wrong attire, finding yourself gawking mouth wide open at the scenes around you, and stumbling over your words – or worse, slipping on lube.

I’m not one for loud music, sticky floors, the smell of vodka, or anything that feels performative. When I first started exploring sex parties, it took a lot of trial and error to find spaces that weren’t overcrowded, high-energy, or run by organisers who seemed more interested in profit than creating a meaningful experience.

What I really wanted was a space where I could connect with people who, like me, valued sensual touch and massage as a form of intimacy and pleasure. That’s how I ended up at a Pleasure Island Party, and let me tell you – it was unlike any other sex party I’d been to.