How the endless doomswipe took over Gen Z dating

Twenty-somethings have fallen victim to the chronically online dating-app trap, writes Robyn Packter. Is it finally time for platforms to level up?

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Cast your mind back to 2020, when the pandemic set the online-dating world on fire. Collectively, singletons locked their doors and unlocked their phones. Whether it was love they were after or just a conversation to pass the time, online dating activity soared by an impressive 82% in March 2020.

In the years since, however, something has changed. Instead of a pursuit for meaningful companionship, dating apps are now a mindless game you play to pass the time. It’s clear from how people are using them – it’s rare I see a single friend and one of them doesn’t call for us to ‘play Hinge’. 

Responding to messages is a thing of the past; it’s simply too easy to ignore them, forgetting the fact that there is a real person on the other end patiently awaiting a response that probably isn’t coming. 

That’s not to say that it’s impossible to find love online. I can count plenty of friends who have found their happily ever after from the romantic interface of Hinge. But many are experiencing dating-app fatigue – so much so that the top 10 dating apps in the UK saw a 16% decline in users between 2023 and 2024. 

The question is: how are we going to change this? Or, more importantly, do we even want to? 

Becoming an NPC in your own dating life

Those among us still swiping seem to have fallen into non-player character (NPC) roles without realising it. Millie*, 26, has noticed a switch in how she approaches dating apps. She feels that “recently, conversations just fizzle, or one of us ghosts”. She admits, however, with self-awareness: “I’m part of the problem. Sometimes one tiny part of their profile will put me off, so I react by ignoring them. I think Hinge has made me more picky than I already was.”

“There’s now a higher ghosting rate than ever, so conversations disappear easily, which leads to emotional burnout”

If a message is eventually sent, it’s been drafted and redrafted after being reviewed by group chats and friends, and turned into something new entirely.

Annie Fontaine, a dating expert and life coach, says she has noticed disenchantment with the world of online dating becoming more widespread. “There’s a higher ghosting rate, so conversations disappear easily, which leads to emotional burnout,” she observes.

“Dating apps are now the number one way to meet people, and the swipe culture makes dating more casual. The general feeling about dating apps these days is that if a match is not successful, then you just end up hopping from one site to the next. Here’s to hopping and hoping...”

The return of ‘real-life’ dating? 

To cure this online-dating fatigue, some apps and businesses have taken some innovative steps forward. Thursday, the dating app unlocked for only one day a week, led the charge attempting to shift towards meeting people in the “real world”. The format gave singletons a 24-hour timeframe to converse, and aimed to encourage in-person meetings.

Despite this, Thursday experienced a rapid decline in consumer interest, with its founder announcing the app’s closure earlier in the year – highlighting how quickly it became yet another game that people were no longer interested in playing.

But where one trend dies, another rises from the ashes; speed dating has also seen a Gen Z revival. Event companies such as Smudged Lipstick and Original Dating have seen a sharp increase in under-30 sign-ups. In fact, Smudged Lipstick recently reported that their Gen Z attendance doubled in 2023. The draw? Less ghosting, fewer mind games, and the simple thrill of seeing someone’s real, unfiltered vibe across the table.

Where to meet people outside of dating apps

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For those who are opposed to falling into the black hole of doomscrolling (or “doomswiping”), is there still hope for good-old-fashioned real-life meet cutes?

Somewhere that might seem like a natural breeding ground for meeting people is work. Lara*, 26, works in a male-heavy company, which allows for exposure to a host of single men, some of whom she’d consider dating (in the real outside-of-work world). 

But on several of her Hinge-swiping sessions at home, “colleagues have popped up, and I have been delighted to dig into how they present themselves on their dating profile”, she says. “On all of these occasions, I have been underwhelmed, finding that, although someone can be hot at 10am on a Tuesday, the online version of themselves isn’t.” 

While 15% of Brits have had luck meeting a partner at work (I mean, who doesn’t enjoy passing the time by developing a crush on someone you see for eight hours, five days a week?) it’s not entirely unsurprising that this frisson is quashed by the online world. Shocker: people aren’t always as attractive online as they are off, and vice versa. Also, maybe don’t shit where you eat; imagine having to see the person who broke your heart every morning at the team meeting. 

“There’s a certain thrill in ditching the screen and meeting someone on a sticky pub floor. We used to call that dating. Now it feels borderline radical”

In a wholesome turn away from algorithms and filtered selfies, Vogue reports that Gen Z is also flocking to run clubs as an unexpected but effective way to meet potential partners. These casual, community-based events blend physical activity with organic interaction – no swiping, just serotonin and shared eye contact over post-jog coffees.

The appeal? Less pressure, more presence. It’s part of a wider movement to reframe dating as something spontaneous and social again, rather than transactional and app-bound. An opportunity to build an organic connection, minus the ick potential from someone using the wrong emojis.

And yes – approaching someone in a bar feels terrifying. But maybe that’s the point? The worst thing they can say is “no”, and you won’t spontaneously combust, promise. There’s a certain thrill in ditching the screen and meeting someone on a sticky pub floor. No profiles, no prompts, no “what are you looking for on here?” Just vibes, timing, and the confidence to say something flirty, even if it’s just “Is this seat taken?” We used to call that dating. Now it feels borderline radical.

So, is it time to level up?

The reality is, we are living in a digital world. Whether you meet someone online or off, you’ll eventually have to confront their online persona. 

No one is free from the perils of online dating. So regardless of whether we choose to commit to the IRL dating grind, or stay scrolling on the apps, we’ll eventually have to do something crazy, like become an active player in our dating lives. That starts with confronting what we really want – and making it happen.

Your move!