How to end a good first date: The art of the perfect goodbye
Leaving a date can get awkward, but Lucy Sarret shares her tips on how to do it well.
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You’ve made it through the date – and not just any date, but a good date. You laughed, you shared stories, maybe you even forgot about your phone for a whole hour.
But now you’re at that tricky stage where you have to figure out how to wrap things up without the situation being awkward. So, how do you leave things on a high note?
Fear not - as someone who’s been on a fair amount of first dates, here are some tips I’ve found helpful to leave on a high note.
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Read the room, but don’t overanalyze it
We’ve all been there: the date is winding down, the pressure mounts, and you’re suddenly stuck wondering, ‘Should I kiss them? Should I hug them?’ Reality check – it doesn’t have to be that complicated.
Instead of spiralling into an in-depth analysis of every word they said, just take a moment to take stock of their behaviour and body language – in other words: read their vibe.
If they seem comfortable and relaxed, that’s a good sign. If they’re standing awkwardly with their arms crossed, maybe ease up on the touchy-feely ending. Trust your instincts – they’ve gotten you this far.
Rather than worrying about whether they're about to try to kiss you, take a beat and ask yourself if YOU want to kiss them.
In the heat of the moment, we sometimes lose touch with our own feelings, and think more about wanting to be desirable and not if we actually want to be desired by this person.
The classic ‘this was fun’ line
You might think this is cheesy, but hear me out: telling someone “I had a really good time” is the perfect way to end things on a positive note.
It’s clear, straightforward, and gives them a hint that you’re interested without being too much.
If you’re feeling extra, throw in a little compliment about something specific from the night – like a funny detail from a story they told (inside joke alert), or how you didn’t expect to have such great banter.
Authenticity is hot, and nothing says ‘I’m actually into you’ like a genuine compliment.
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Do you kiss, hug, or... just wave?
The ending of a date is often where the stakes feel highest, but here’s the truth: there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. If there’s that undeniable spark, and you’re feeling bold, go for the kiss. Just lean in a bit, and if they lean in too, congrats – you’ve nailed it.
If you’re not sure, go for a hug. It’s safe, it’s warm, and it still shows you’re into them. And if you’re feeling super unsure, a confident wave is always a classic. No one ever died from a cute wave goodbye.
Asking can also be direct and sexy. Hitting them with a 'Can I kiss you?' and asking for consent? Unreal.
Worst case, they say no, and you avoid the mortifying moment of them dodging as you lean in for the kill.
Read more: Editors on… our dating ins and outs
Avoid the ‘let’s hang out again’ trap
Blurting out “We should do this again” right as you’re saying goodbye can feel forced. Are you saying that because you mean it, or because it’s the expected thing to say?
Instead, try: “I’d love to see you again sometime.” It’s more genuine, and leaves the door open for future plans without pressuring them (or yourself) into a sequel date before you’ve even left the first one. Let the follow-up happen naturally once you’ve had a second to breathe.
It’s also okay to make follow-up plans on the date if you both seem really into it, but depending on how the conversation goes, that doesn’t always happen.
In that case, if you’re not entirely sure, wait and then see how you feel about it the next day before messaging them - or, if they’ve already messaged you, that’s usually a good indication that they do want a second date.
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Be honest (but chill) about your feelings
If you're genuinely excited about this person, don’t be afraid to let them know. You don’t have to pour your heart out, but a simple “I really liked spending time with you” when texting after the date can be a game-changer.
Gen Z might be known for ghosting, but we’re also pretty into transparency and authenticity. So if you’re feeling it, say it - just make sure you’re not love-bombing.
If it’s not a ‘hell yes,’ that’s okay too
Sometimes, you have a good date, but it’s not life-changing – and that’s totally fine. Not every date has to be a cinematic rom-com moment. It’s okay to end a good date knowing that you had a fun time, but you’re not 100% sure if you’re feeling it. You don’t owe them a full TED Talk about your feelings right away. Take your time, let it marinate, and see where your head’s at the next day.
While it can be awkward, ending a good first date doesn’t have to be something you dread; It’s all about being yourself, keeping things genuine, and not overthinking every single move. The best part? If the date really was that good, chances are they’re feeling the exact same way as you.
So take a deep breath, say your goodbye, and remember – this isn’t the end. It’s just the beginning.