I went to a blind dating event – here’s what happened
Sextras’ resident single girl Katie Ross reviews Soulmate Social, a personalised dating experience that promises to get you a snog (if not your soulmate), and speaks to its founder Breagha Campbell about the inspiration behind mass set-ups (mostly, death to The Apps™).
Credits: Henry Harte (@mamulia.co)
Last Friday, I found myself mentally (and physically if you count deep breathing and applying winged eyeliner) preparing for a blind date. The first in my life, thank you for asking.
The pre-match nerves were palpable; I spent 90% of the journey checking my appearance in case something had changed in the last 30 seconds (it hadn’t), and the other 10% texting my date to say that I might be late (I was).
This was no ordinary blind date. Oh no. I had been given no information about my date except his phone number, and only discovered his first name two days before via an introductory text from the man himself.
Why? Because it was organised by Soulmate Social, a bespoke matchmaking site. Its USP being that its founder, 25-year-old Breagha Campbell, will personally (along with a small team of assistant Cupids) match you with your dream date, using none of those algorithms we love to hate. All you need to do is pay £12.50 and fill out a 20-question form that involves some of life’s great quandaries such as ‘What do you want more of in life?’ and ‘Which celebrity would you most like to have dinner with, dead or alive?’
They also ask for your ex’s names to avoid what I imagine is most people’s worst nightmare; a text from an ex is enough to send me spiralling, I don’t need an IRL jumpscare in an unfamiliar West London pub.
Originally set up as a fundraiser for women’s domestic abuse charity Refuge when Campbell was at university, Soulmate Social is inclusive of all genders and sexualities and has a quota for each to ensure a smooth matching experience – though I imagine it is still a rather long and laborious process. A labour of love, if you will.
One feature of the experience that will somewhat allay any nerves that you’re going to be set up with some absolute rotter is that there is a club-style event afterwards, included in the ticket price, this time at Bush Hall in West London. This means that, God forbid your date doesn’t go to plan, there is a sea of thirsty – and at this point rather drunk – singles for you to choose from.
“I want to create a night where there is that exciting feeling of potential and randomness, combined with the more curated date beforehand”
My advice would be to go with friends so that at least if the date is bad you can still get your money’s worth from the event – attending a singles night alone after a bad date sounds pretty harrowing.
The event was attended by 500 people and I was shocked at how many other people I knew there: girls from years below me at school, random boys I vaguely knew when I was younger, friends of friends, and actual friends I just didn’t speak to beforehand.
And aside from a few near elbows to the face in the queue and two bars which were particularly difficult to access due to the sheer volume of people trying to get a Jägerbomb (as it turns out, blindly seeking your soulmate requires a lot of Dutch courage), the evening was a lot of fun – date included.
They say hindsight is 20/20, and while it felt very scary at the time, the fact that the date is almost totally blind (I’ll admit I had done the obligatory check of the WhatsApp pic) makes it somewhat less nerve wracking than your average date, as there really is nothing to lose if things go wrong. Though I am speaking as someone who has done very few first dates, it was certainly at the less awkward end of the scale – especially after two margaritas on a stomach of one piece of Marmite toast. A friend of mine didn’t enjoy her date, but I must commend Campbell on her no algorithm approach based solely on my experience (we have met up since).
In my questionnaire, one of my reasons for getting involved was to meet new people, which I did. Although I did say for the celebrity question that I fancied an evening with TuPac (still need to know what happened there), which was less successful. I’ll let them off.
Overall, Soulmate Social was certainly something I’d do again or recommend to friends. My minimal experience of Hinge involved a lot of pointless messaging and no dates, which is no fun for anyone. Soulmate Social was the complete antithesis of that. And thank God, the stress of doing a winged eye was not in vain.
Credits: Breagha Campbell
KR: Why did you create Soulmate Social (SMS)?
BC: Many different reasons. The first event was all for charity (refuge) as I was fundraising for the London Marathon. I had seen people do similar events before, one of which I attended, and I didnt have a great match. I was put with a girl and we were so different (classic girls being put together just because there aren't many queer entrants). I thought, I can do this better and make this bigger!
I worked in TV development, so I love branding and coming up with formats and titles. I found the whole process of creating the event so enjoyable as it really enabled me to get creative. I had lots of help with the website and my amazing aunt helped with graphics. My incredibly talented friend Henry (@mamulia.co) also helped me shoot content for Instagram. So far it has been a huge team effort and help from my sister and my mates has been essential during the matching process – which takes a really long time! [Told you.]
I also strongly believe that the London singles scene needs an event like SMS. I want to create a night where there is that exciting feeling of potential and randomness, combined with the more curated date beforehand. We all need to kiss and love more, so that's really what drives me when thinking about future SMS events. Also keeping the price low for the date and the after party is important to me because this city sucks you dry!
How did you decide on the format/process?
I can’t claim that the idea was my own original format as I had seen similar events before, but I wanted to really double down on the matching process and ensure it was way more accurate. This takes time, and the form that people fill out is really important for me to get to know everyone. I take weeks reading and understanding everyone, and I'm constantly thinking of better questions to include that will allow me to make even better matches in the future. I also think it’s pretty unique that the afterparty is a room filled with single people and the feedback I have got so far is that it feels very different (and avoids being a cringe fest) from Thursdays and Bumble IRL events (which I have never been to – no judgement for those who have).
How do you match people?
It is based on the form and then after reading and getting to know everyone (also via peoples Instagrams) I match them. I focus on what people do [for work], like to do in London, physical attributes they are attracted to and what they are passionate about.
What have been some highlights since you started?
So far, I have only done two events, both of which were very different. What I can say about both events is that seeing people getting together after you have matched them on paper is such an amazing feeling. I think the best thing for me so far has to be meeting so many new people who sign up, who I would never have come across before. One of my good friends went on a date last time round, and even though it was not a romantic match, he and his date are now putting on an art show together. This is what I love about SMS, you never know what will happen…
Any memorable success stories?
I'm aiming for lots of babies and weddings by our 10 year anniversary! I think the biggest success is people gaining more confidence when dating and also just giving the gift of a hilarious night out. Success for me is providing a good time and I think, so far, we have delivered. There have also been lots of second, third, and fourth dates.
Do you ever get to go on the dates yourself? And if not, do you ever wish you could?
I’m too busy on the night. I also wouldn't want to deny my girlies a man so, for the moment, I'm happy to be at the door welcoming everyone in. Also low-key started seeing a new hunk (who I met in real life, fuck the apps amiright).
You can find Soulmate social online here and on Instagram (@soulmatesocial_) here.