Women are no stranger to the moon controlling their anatomy, so Charlie Elizabeth Culverhouse spoke to Samantha Regrave, author of the upcoming book Flow, to learn how we can sync our self-care routine with the moon’s cycles

“What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down”, George Bailey declares in the Christmas classic It’s A Wonderful Life. “The moon is my mother”, Sylvia Plath writes in her poem The Moon and The Yew Tree. For Van Gogh, it made its way into his most iconic work, Starry Night, with the yellow-tinged swirl lighting up ominous black mountains below.

We’ve been fascinated by the moon’s mysterious power for centuries, but what does it mean to you?

Maybe you howl at it, or look to it for guidance. But for Samantha Redgrave, it serves the purpose of a calendar – one you should follow if you want to improve your health and wellbeing.

In her new book Flow, the therapist and wellbeing writer highlights how the moon’s changing phases can, often powerfully, impact our lives. Affecting our energy, mood, and sleep patterns, the lunar cycles present various opportunities to tap into intuitive living.

According to Redgrave, we can improve our approach to wellness by aligning our routines with this natural pattern. So, of course, we here at Sextras, who are always looking for more intentional and magical ways to improve our lives, sat down with her ahead of Flow’s release to learn more.

What are the lunar cycles?

“Each month, the lunar phase moves from new to waxing to full to waning and back to the new moon again, with each phase carrying a set of unique gifts and strengths,” Redgraveexplains. This cycle takes around 30 days to complete.

The new moon, where our cycle begins, is the phase where the sky appears empty. It isn’t; it’s simply that the side of the moon facing away from Earth is being lit up by the sun, so we can’t see it.

“Waxing” explains the increasing illumination of the moon, where it goes from a crescent to a half moon and, finally, to the full moon. Then it “wanes”, going back to a half moon, and again to a crescent before the new-moon phase again takes place.

Self-care during a new moon

Knowing these cycles and allowing them, each month, to influence our approach to wellness, can make our self-care all the more “potent”, Redgrave says.

This cyclical wellness calendar not only helps to “shape your day-to-day living”, but also can help to “put you on a path of long-term self-discovery and healing”.

Starting with the new moon, which marks the beginning of each lunar month, Redgrave explains, “We are called to go inwards and listen closely to the whispers of our hearts at this time. We can set intentions that expand during the waxing moon.”

This is a time of release, marking the period where we let go of old patterns and energies that have held us back, stressed us out, or simply not served us over the previous month. Meditate, journal, notice your habits. Listen to what your body is telling you as you look at the moonless sky; what is bringing negativity into your life? What could you do less of to improve your health? What makes you feel good that you could focus more energy on?

Self-care during the waxing moon

As the moon grows during the seven days between the new and full phases, your energy is at its highest. This makes it the perfect time to work on fulfilling your new-moon intentions.

“The waxing moon is a period of inspiration and new growth, where willpower and magnetism can help you achieve the intentions made in that quiet, empty container of the new moon,” Redgrave says.

What goals do you want to achieve this month? Throw yourself into them, knowing as you work hard to become your whole self, the moon is doing the same.

“These challenges can be as small or as big as you like! There’s no pressure to be more than who you already are, it's simply about moving through life with a deep trust in your ability to cope,” she adds.

Increased libido during the full moon

“Our fears and wounds are pulled to the surface at the full moon – it’s intense,” says Redgrave.

Here is when you’ll start to reap the rewards of the intentions you set previously. This can be anything from a feeling of satisfaction after religiously practising sun-salutations and frog poses, or revived energy now your new sleep schedule has finally relieved you of those 3pm naps – and you’ll be thankful for that renewed energy, with all the lusty vibes the full moon brings with it.

“The moon’s full, radiant gorgeousness is like a beacon of power and influence, so your libido may fire off in alignment with this lunar portal. You can capitalise on this outward energy by being more vocal in the bedroom and asking for what you want,” Redgrave says.

However, proceed with caution.

“The full moon can also scoop out negative emotions, self-doubt, and raw sensitivity. Certain situationships might start to feel conflicting, or you may even start to question if you're good enough for the relationship, especially if self-sabotage is one of your long-running patterns.”

If tensions are running high, stop and think before making any rash decisions. The next moon phase will help you do this.

Wellbeing and reflection during the waning moon

The waning moon is a time for release, retreat and reflection as we reach the end of the lunar cycle. What went well for you this month? What didn’t go according to plan?

“Instead of getting carried away with unhelpful thoughts, we can use the waning moon to release the need to be better and move away from well-worn not-enoughness,” Redgrave advises. “As the moon converts into new again, we too transform old wounds into fresh intentions.”

Use this time to move more gently, taking time to meditate, journal, and pamper yourself as you prepare, not only for a new-moon cycle, but also a new opportunity to set intentions and have the energy to fulfill them.

Lunar rituals for better self-care

The brilliance of the moon is that it’s not running paid ads for journals, skincare, bath bombs, or any other wellness product – and this anti-capitalist approach to wellbeing is far more magical, intuitive, and helpful. The one thing you need to do? Simply be.

“The moon reminds us that everything runs in cycles and that instead of fighting against the natural shifts in energy, we can slow down and go with the flow,” says Redgrave. “Connecting to the moon doesn’t have to involve lunar rituals, spells or journaling prompts.Simply focusing on the changes in your energy levels and patterns of behaviour throughout the different lunar phases can feel enlightening.”

Read more about the impact of the moon’s cycles, the three other cycles that organise a woman’s life and impact wellness, in Flow: Self-care sessions for your menstrual, lunar, life and seasonal cycles, available from 14 January 2025.

Why (and how) you should be living in harmony with the moon