Inside the witchy world of sex magick
Spells, potions, and…orgasms? (Oh my!) Sex editor Honey Wyatt speaks to professional witch, Sunshine, to find out what sex magick really is, and how it can be used to manifest change
In the digital age most of us will have heard of the power of manifestation (that is, using the power of your thoughts to make something you want to happen a reality). And, whether you practice it or not, you probably know a whole load of ways to do it: create a mood board, write in a diary, or start meditating.
Since the pandemic, avoiding any mention of the law of attraction or visualising your goals will have been hard. Videos with the hashtag “manifesting” have 164.6M views on TikTok, while the phrase “manifest it!” has slowly but surely seeped into our everyday lexicon.
Throughout history, non-traditional religions and spiritual practices have been called on in times of conflict to bring us hope. In the UK, the 2021 census shows that paganism, wiccanism, and shamanism are on the rise, while Christianity is for the first time a minority religion.
Meanwhile in online communities – r/witchcraft, r/magick, r/spells (which have a collective membership of over 618,000), and WitchTok – people share their tips for manifesting, from writing wishes on bay leaves, to burning candles. Among them are posts and videos touting the benefits of sex magick to bring desires into reality.
“By getting aroused, then building it to the point of crescendo of the orgasm, and at that point setting that intention of something you are desiring,” pleasure can be used to send out your goals to the world, says practiced magician, witch, and psychic medium, Sunshine.
Harnessing the energy concocted during sex, this magick uses the thing that has been with us throughout all of time, and is the reason for our very existence. Its very potential “to give life to something that once did not exist” is the reason this type of manifestation has so much power, Sunshine explains. “When female parts and male parts get together and they actually have sex, that act can literally create a human being. That is how powerful that act is.”
“Build it all up, and when that orgasm hits you let it go, and you’re shooting your intention out into the world”
For Sunshine, sex magick comes as part of a ritual at each new moon to set intentions for the coming month. In the group she works with, sex or masturbation is used in the latter part of the rituals.
Because her rituals usually take place virtually, the earlier parts – involving grounding into energy, and blessing – are done in a group practice, before people move offline with their partners, or by themselves, and into the bedroom to practice the sex magic part of the ritual. This can involve partnered sex or masturbation.
“I’ve worked in groups where we’ve done sex magic where it’ll actually be solo, like masturbation,” Sunshine shares. “You’ll be on your own, cuddled up in your own little cuddle ball, and you’ll be stroking it, raising the energy and there will be a high priestess or high priest guiding you through that, to the point where all of that energy is released.
“And you’re literally building it for a purpose – maybe healing of the world, or all sorts of different things, bringing more hope into life or whatever that might be.” But intentions set during sex magic can be anything, from hoping for world peace, to looking for career success, or better communication in your relationships.
During last month’s ritual, Sunshine set intentions for success in 2024. Because the new moon fell on Saturday, they worked with Saturn (the God of karmic debt, discipline, and authority) to remove obstacles between them and their goals.
An orgasm is typically the key to catapulting these intentions into reality. “When it comes to sex magick, it’s the orgasmic release that is the slingshot of the intention. You build it all up, and you’re pulling back and getting aroused, getting aroused, getting aroused,” Sunshine describes. “All that tension is there, you keep going, and when that orgasm hits you let it go, and you’re shooting your intention out into the world.”
But if you’re not able to orgasm, there are ways to work around it, Sunshine explains. Sex magick as a practice goes back to the teachings of 20th century occultists like Aleister Crowley and Israel Regardie. Their books The Best of the Equinox and The Tree of Life set the script for the practice.
“When I say they’re very prescriptive, I’m like oh my God, you just threw all enjoyment out of sex out the window, come on now,” Sunshine laughs. These instructions often involve the man and woman orgasming at the same time, and doing it at precise times, using exact angles, and positions.
“The reality is, as a woman I can orgasm 10, 15, 20 times before my partner does. There have been times where that has literally been the intention, and those are usually really crazy wild nights,” she comments. But it’s more about the build up, and being intuitive about what feels right for you, than the orgasm that lays the groundwork for the manifestation.
“If you couldn’t [orgasm], let’s say some people physically aren’t able to, maybe they are just struggling psychologically, it’s a matter of building to whatever point you felt was the climax and still releasing.”
“Just practicing magic in witchcraft can be seen as a feminine thing, and so just even alone that might cause men some apprehension”
And, just as with anything sex-related, whether you feel shame can impact whether or not you should try out sex magick. Sunshine attributes this to the reason why it hasn’t taken off as a practice as much as it might otherwise. “There’s all sorts of reasons why people wouldn’t choose to incorporate it in their magic,” she says.
“If you’re not truly embracing sex magick, it’s gonna be real hard to do,” Sunshine explains. If you don’t feel comfortable with your sexuality, whether that shows up in how you communicate (or don’t) with your partner about sex; avoiding masturbation, or “true passionate love-making”, this could hinder the effectiveness of the magick.
“You’ll go through the motions, but the actual build and the engagement in that energetic connection will be real hard.” This is particularly true for people who have a history with addiction, Sunshine warns. “It has the potential to turn into something that you don’t want it to be. It can feel like a burden. It can feel like every time I have sex, I now have to be doing magick.”
For men, ideas about how their sexuality and gender should present could also pose a problem. “If a man has ever had any questions of their own sexuality, if they’ve ever had any fears of being ridiculed, or felt like it, then it makes it even that much more difficult,” Sunshine explains.
“Just practicing magic in witchcraft can be seen as a feminine thing, and so just even alone that might cause them some apprehension.” Nonetheless, she would encourage people to be open and curious to explore if sex magick makes sense for their practice – starting out solo, before adding a partner into the equation.
Towards the end of my call with Sunshine, I ask if there is anything else I need to know. Laughingly, she tells me that her guides tell her I should try it out. As someone who knows very little about magic in general, I express trepidation that I’ll do something wrong; set the wrong intention and mess it up.
“The magic in the intention that you can use is purely to allow strong connection and communication [with my partner],” she tells me. “Literally, you just think of that intention, and as you engage and get romanced, start with a shower or a bath, bathe each other, take it to the bedroom, make sure it's beautiful. Make sure it's romantic, make sure that you build up all of that energy, allow each of you to enjoy, and engage in it.
At the moment of the release just remember the intention that you set, and then when it's done, cuddle and hold each other and kiss each other and tell each other how much you love each other. And it's done.”
It’s as simple as that – manifest your goals, and get off at the same time. Magic! What’s not to like?