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Valentine’s day might be just around the corner, but it’s not too late to buy a meaningful gift for your SO, Honey Wyatt writes

When Valentine’s Day inevitably rolls around each year, despite the hopes you might have that the abundance of red and pink heart-shaped presents, flowers, sex toys, and chocolates might subside, humanity does not rise to surprise ourselves.

It can thus be a lot of pressure (perhaps an understatement) to sort through the crap, and find Valentine’s Day gift ideas that feel personalised to your partner. It’s become a commercialised holiday, after all, but that doesn’t mean your loved one(s) shouldn’t expect to be presented with a gift or experience that perfectly sums up your love for them.

And this fateful day (14 February, for those not in the know) is not the time to be fucking up your displays of affection. So, what better way to treat your special someone than to give them something that acknowledges how they like to receive love?

That’s right – their love language (aka that thing they heard about on TikTok they’re always banging on about) could be the key to filtering down the smorgasbord of Valentine’s gift options to find the one that screams them.

What are the five love languages?

If you’ve been living under a rock, there are five crucial love languages you need to know about.

Having observed the marital dynamics among his sermon in the 90s, baptist pastor Gary Chapman reckoned that how we show and receive displays of affection can be captured in five categories: receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, and acts of service.

The basis of the love languages is that, by understanding their SO’s love language, lovers can optimise how they display their love for one another and communicate how they like to receive love.

Valentine’s Day gift ideas by love language

The Sextras team banded together to curate a list of Valentine’s Day gift ideas based on each love language.

Receiving gifts

Those who have receiving gifts as their primary love language will, naturally, feel supremely loved and adored on Valentine’s Day. But don’t assume you can get them any old thing and call it a day.

Take full advantage of your partner’s penchant for presents by getting them a series of small gifts in the lead up to Valentine’s Day. Several companies have already taken it upon themselves to curate a selection of thoughtful gifts for you.

Instead of quenching their rapid unwrapping rabidness in one meagre day, SheSpot has carefully crafted several small gifts that they can open on the big V-day itself or in the run up.

For those with physical touch as their secondary love language, go for the Dare to Desire set (£119.99), featuring sex toy pariah Lelo’s massage candle, stimulating oil from YES, Coco de Mer’s luxurious leather flog, and libido-boosting adaptogen chocolates from For Play.

Or, opt for the Date Night set if quality time is next in line for their love language, which comes with For Play chocolates, Lelo’s massage candle, arousal oil from Foria, and water-based lube from Luviss to set the scene for a night of opulent alone time.

Hint: wrapping each element individually will have them on the edge of their seats, if not straight into bed. For the crafty among us, making a Valentine’s mailbox to house the presents could deliver them into another dimension of excitement.

Quality time

valentine's gift ideas — For Play Hers & Hers Couples Chocolate, £27.99

If we’ve not mentioned them enough already, For Play has formulated the perfect box for a night of uninterrupted time with your partner.

Those with quality time as their love language want to feel present and coveted during time with their loved ones, so this box of six chocolates boosted with adaptogens will lay the groundwork for an anticipated evening of intimacy enhancement.

These brightly coloured boxes are home to six chocolates, designed to lift your libido, as well as question cards to delve deep into your romantic and sexual compatibility. They even come with options for straight, gay, and lesbian couples, and vegans (ah, that key sexuality).

If a night in on Valentine’s Day is really not your prerogative, why not plan a date day out to do pottery painting, attend a concert or museum, or invite your nearest and dearest over for dinner (who says V-day is restricted to romantic love, after all?).

Acts of service

This is a tricky one because, if you’re doing anything right in your relationship, you should be doing your best to take the small quotidian tasks off their hands year-round.

But if you’re looking for something to make their special day as care-free as possible, book the day off work and fill it by making it your sole duty in life to please them. If you’re not sure what that might be – ask them in advance.

Fulfilling their needs can be as simple as making their daily routine as simple as possible to free their time up for self-care and a life of pure hedonism (and let’s be honest, we all need more of that in our lives).

On the day itself, wake them up with breakfast in bed, before doing all the washing up while you run them a long bath. As they soak (in the glory of your love and undying attention), turn to their fridge, cupboards, and bathroom cabinet, which you can refill with their favourite snacks and essentials to keep them going for at least the next few weeks.

For the cherry on top of your acts of service sundae, end by dishing up their favourite meal – you could even offer their favourite bedroom menu item for dessert…

Physical touch

valentine's dat gifts for her — So Divine silk restraints, £22.39

If you’re looking for something touching (sorry, couldn’t resist) to gift your loved one this Valentine’s, think no further than anything that will get you as up close and personal with your partner for as long as possible.

Maybe they’ve been asking for a massage for a long time, and you’ve always had an excuse on hand to dodge their request? Well, there’s no time like the present to set up a serene sanctuary set with their favourite candles, towels, and lighting to rub them down yourself. Massage oil – like this sensual smoky floral one from So Divine (£8.40) – is a must, and can even be used to slide seamlessly into an evening of sensual pleasure.

If that’s on the menu, consider incorporating sensual play with a pair of silk wrist restraints (£22.39), or a cupid’s bow-shaped crop and tickler (£12.00) from Ann Summers.

Words of affirmation

All you have to do to make this person’s day is find creative ways of voicing the (hopefully many) reasons you love them. As our lesbian correspondent pointed out, a carabiner engraved with a secret message of adoration could hit the sweet spot for our wlw (women loving women – keep up!) out there, while designing your own hand-made Victorian love letter could forever capture the heart of your nightgown-wearing lover (or nightgown-wearing-coded, at least).

Valentine’s Day gift ideas for each love language 2025