Whether you’re an avid bookworm or have made some reading resolutions for 2025, Lucy Sarret explores her top picks for reflective nonfiction.

Seasonal depression has hit many of us as the days are now colder than ever, and it might be harder to feel optimistic about your dating life, and maybe even your relationship with yourself.

If you’re anything like me, this is the time of the year where summer has been over for a while, you’re tired from all the fun, and you're trying to figure out this whole love thing as cuffing season seems to be impacting everyone but you.

Whether you're working on building healthier relationships, becoming the best version of yourself, or embracing the single life with pride, books can be helpful tools to get in tune with what you need.

Here are six reads that will help you improve your connections, grow as an individual, and learn to be perfectly happy on your own.

Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel

We had to start with this classic – and we are big Esther Perel fans here at Sextras. If you've ever struggled with keeping the spark alive in a long-term relationship, or wondered why desire can be so tricky, Esther Perel’s deep dive into intimacy and eroticism is a must-read.

She explores how to balance the need for security with the craving for excitement, showing that the two aren’t mutually exclusive. Perel’s insights are full of lightbulb moments, helping you understand how to nurture passion while staying connected emotionally. It’s a game changer for anyone in a relationship or even anyone curious about what it means to love deeply.

Why it’s a vibe: This book challenges you to rethink everything you thought you knew about love, desire, and what it means to be ‘settled’. Perfect for shaking up your mindset and embracing the complexities of love.

Conversations on Love by Natasha Lunn

If you're looking for something heartfelt and insightful, Natasha Lunn’s Conversations on Love is perfect. Lunn speaks with authors, psychologists, and everyday people about what love really means – the highs, the lows and the in-betweens. She explores the different kinds of love we experience, from romantic to platonic to self-love, and how each plays a unique role in our lives. It’s the ultimate guide for understanding how love changes, grows, and sometimes fades.

Why it’s a vibe: This book feels like having a deep chat with a friend about all the complexities of love. It reminds you that love is multifaceted, and sometimes, it's okay if it doesn't look how you expected it to. As a currently single girly, it’s really helped me embrace the fact that the greatest loves of your life are your deep friendships rather than a MAN.

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller

We LOVE talking about attachment styles here at Sextras, if you hadn’t noticed. Ever wondered why you’re the way you are in relationships? Are you anxiously waiting for texts, or are you the kind who pushes people away? Attached breaks down the science of attachment styles and helps you identify why you might fall into certain patterns. You’ll learn how to recognize your own style (secure, anxious, or avoidant) and, more importantly, how to make it work in relationships.

Why it’s a vibe: Understanding attachment theory is like getting a cheat code for relationships. It gives you the tools to better understand yourself and your partner, and let's be real – who doesn't want that kind of power?

All About Love: New Visions by bell hooks

If you’re tired of the cliché rom-com version of love and want something that digs deeper, bell hooks is here to deliver. This book isn’t just about romantic love; it explores how love operates in every aspect of our lives – from self-love to familial love to how we interact with the world. It’s a reminder that love isn’t just about finding ‘the one’ but about building meaningful connections everywhere.

Why it’s a vibe: bell hooks takes love out of the cheesy, over-the-top, fairy tale category and makes it real, messy, and something worth working towards.

How to Be Single and Happy: Science-Based Strategies for Keeping Your Sanity While Looking for a Soul Mate by Jennifer Taitz

Look, not everyone is in a relationship (me included) – and that’s perfectly fine. If you’re tired of hearing, “So, are you seeing anyone?”, from literally everyone you know, this book is your new best friend.

Jennifer Taitz dives into why being single doesn’t have to mean being lonely and gives practical, evidence-based advice on how to embrace singlehood. It’s packed with tips on how to feel fulfilled on your own, without waiting for that ‘perfect’ partner to complete you.

Why it’s a vibe: If you’re struggling to be happy without a partner, or want to celebrate yourself without tying your happiness to someone else, this book will make you rethink everything.

The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm

Okay, let’s get a little philosophical for a sec. Erich Fromm’s The Art of Loving is an oldie but a goodie, exploring the idea that love isn’t just a feeling but an action, a choice, and something you can cultivate in your life. Fromm argues that love is an art, and just like any other art form, it requires practice, patience, and dedication. It’s a short read, but will have you rethinking everything you thought you knew about love.

Why it’s a vibe: This book hits you with some real truths about how love isn't just something that "happens" to you – it's something you actively create. If you’re ready to put in the work, this is the guide you need.

Top 6 books to help you master relationships (or love yourself solo)