We’ve all heard about the benefits of focusing on our breath in our day to day life. But what happens when we tap into our breathing while being intimate with someone? Nathalie Romero explores how breathing can enhance our sexual pleasure.

Being conscious in our breath can be an anchor and a quick way for us to drop into our bodies at any moment. During sex it’s no different. Breath is one of the most powerful tools I have ever experienced, leading to a complete body orgasm — a cathartic release. 

Sometimes, our minds become so chaotic that we miss one of the most crucial parts of sex: pleasure. Breath is a secret weapon to improving orgasms and channelling thoughts and emotions that might arise during an intimate moment. It brings consciousness and presence to sex (which can always be enhanced) and allows time to play with our sensations on a deeper level.

At first I was totally against any structure or anyone telling me how to experience sex. But, as the sessions with my partner became deeper, more intimate, and rough, calming my mind and focusing on the physical practice became crucial to my pleasure. 

My focus on breath started with my yoga practice – the feeling of breathing anchoring the body in the present. As I developed in my yoga journey I started to wonder how to apply these tools to my sexual life.

At a yoga retreat I started digging deeper into my pleasure. I learned about the sacred practice of tantra, which breathwork is a part of, and learned there is magic lying between breath and intimacy and finding the perfect rhythm that resonates with your bodily desires. 

Each type of breathwork can suit different people and circumstances, depending on what our own pleasure tells us. Sometimes we feel like slowing down and going deeper, or maybe going fast and sloppy, or anything in between. 

No matter what your style, there’s a breathwork method for you. The key in these practices is not just the technique itself, but also the shared exploration with your partner and the bond of working towards the same objective.

Here are some types of sexual breathwork you can explore: 

1. Diaphragm breathing: Using the full abdomen, push the belly out at the inhale. Imagine breathing moving to our pelvis and lower abdomen.

2. Synchronised breathing: A great starting point for becoming connected to your partner.

3. Box breathing: Hold your breath for a few seconds after inhaling. Hold the breath in, experiment with sensations of fullness, and then release.

4. Mouth to mouth breathing: While kissing your partner, inhale their breath and exhale all your breath into their mouths. This is a must try and the quickest way to induce the mood in the beginning. Lots and lots of kissing. Our nervous system regulates when we kiss and allows more space for focus and attention on our sensations.

5. “Mmmm”: Introduce sound and breath with ‘mmmm’ sound every time something  feels good to you, letting the sound direct your pleasure and add more sound or less sound. Fill up your belly while inhaling and exhale with  ‘mmm’ sound. Work with vocal “o” trying to use your lower belly as the 

6. Visualisation: Add a colour or a texture to the quality of the breath to help with moving and being present. One of the most useful images is a circle of breath, in which you imagine your breath going down to your belly and entering your partner through their pelvis. 

Listen: Mindful Masturbation & Sexual Meditation (ft. Sayra Player)

Tips for integrating breath into your sexual practice:

• Don't be too hard on yourself! If you lose yourself with the inevitable pleasure that the breath gives you or your partner — forget the exercise, softly and kindly get back to it. There’s no pressure to go beyond where you are in the moment, so relax and enjoy the process.

• Try practising 48 hours prior to the session. Tantra tries to explain to us that sex is always in the air and anticipating it, while connecting to our own breath, can welcome in a more pleasurable experience.

• Forget the theory and get dirty! Try everything that involves the connection with your movement and the breath without thinking too much, see where that takes you. We might can find in the breath an amazing ally to move with more control and intention.

Use the breath in your favour, this is a magic tool that can help you connect with a partner. Being conscious of our breath lets our mind relax into the present moment and escape from our daily lives.

Warning: If you become dizzy or uncomfortable, take a break and stop breath control and come back to your normal breath. Have some water and open up a window to let fresh air in. If you have any cardiovascular problem, ask your doctor if a breath practice could suit your necessities. Avoid this practice if you’re using stimulants.