Is My Attraction Normal?

• How do our listeners experience attraction? Do they like someone straight away or do they have to get to know them before they develop feelings?

• Why do we either crush on people or lose attraction so fast?

• How does our initial attraction to someone affect our connection going forward?

In this episode we talk about attraction and the way we experience it. There are different types of attraction, and different people experience attraction differently, so discuss why that might be and how we’ve reacted to our attraction.

To start, we asked how our listeners in a poll, ‘How are you attracted to people? Do you ten to like people straight away and develop crushes easily, or do you have to get to know someone first for that attraction to grow?’ Our followers were split down the middle, just like us. Some shared some of their attraction confusion, ‘if I get to know them its bad because I can make them a friend and that completely puts me off’, whilst some others thought that having a friendship that grows into attraction is most natural to them.

We then begin to map out the way we experience attraction. Honey describes her first relationship and how shared experiences and friendship grew into attraction, and how in her second relationship the attraction was also somewhat of a slow burner. In times when she’s been single, she barely experiences random attraction at all, unless confronted with it. Maria shares the opposite, she’s always crushing on someone, chasing someone, or with someone. (Classic anxious attachment)

We discuss how the way we experience attraction has impacted the way we approach making romantic or sexual connections. Maria is more active in her attraction, whilst Honey usually lets people come to her. (Probably because of our attachment styles) But that isn’t to say that we only experience one type of attraction and that’s that: we all make all kinds of connections with all kinds of people and sometimes that attraction might be sexual, whereas others it might be emotional attraction or romantic attraction.