How Friendships Change
Have our listeners’ friendships changed as they’ve grown up?
When did our listeners last make a new friend and how?
Is it worse to have a friend break up or to drift apart?
How have our friendships changed in our 20s/ since we finished university?
Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) it is a fact of life that most friendships change over time. This week we want to talk about just that, and our experience with how friendships change in your 20s.
We begin the episode with a segment where we ask you guys if you feel like your friendships have changed, and if so how. Then we did a poll asking what is worse— a friend break up or drifting apart— and if you’ve made any new friends recently.
Though some friendships will never die, it is an inevitable fact of life that as we as individuals grow and evolve, so too will our friendships, and sometimes this comes at the cost of certain friendships, and sometimes this means that you grow and evolve with your friends. No matter what, friendships are very important relationships in our lives and so when a friendship ends it can be sad and confusing, leaving you feeling lonely or as if there’s something wrong with you. This can even be the case when friendships change, and we really wanted to acknowledge the complexities of friendships, which don’t have the same set of rules and expectations as our romantic relationships.
We talk about how our friendships have changed over our lives, from how they’ve changed since college. We explain how when we notice friendships have changed we might feel a certain kind of way, but not necessarily because we blame anyone or because it’s anyone’s fault, but more because we worry what this says about ourselves and what it means for the future of our friendships. But friendship is malleable! Friends challenge each other, and grow together, and it would be boring if they stayed the same throughout our lives. We need to give each other the room to grow, and if that means we have our own things going on, and even eventually growing apart, then that’s okay.
Friendships change! We need to learn to live with it. We hope we encourage you to reflect a little bit on how your own friendships have changed, and whether that really says anything about you, or if it’s an inevitable part of life. All this to say, treasure your friends, and put the work into your friendships that you want to be reciprocated. Like any relationship, friendships need tending.
