• How many women actually have orgasms? We poll our followers to see

• Discuss the gender orgasm gap and how to give yourself an orgasm by finding out what gives you pleasure

• Talk about how to tell your partner what you like sexually and how they can help you reach orgasm

In the progression of your life, you may one day be confronted with The Elusive Female Orgasm. The likelihood is: you either have a vulva yourself, or will one day want to sleep with someone else who does. And yes, these two things sound kind of scary but we’re here to tell you that they’re really not. In this podcast episode we discuss how to give yourself pleasure, and (if it’s your goal) how to give yourself an orgasm.

We open with a segment discussing some polls, in which we asked if people were having orgasms and whether that changed if they were with a partner. We break down why there might be an orgasm gender gap and how we can reduce it. We share some tips on how to find out what gives you pleasure and break down specifically what you can do, as well as how to communicate those things with a sexual partner.

We have a brief input from our friend Sam, in which she tells us about her journey to orgasm along with some very wise advice. Our friend Violeta also joins us and answers some questions about her own path to masturbation and how that helped her in her sex life. We’re not experts in any way but we have vaginas, and we also didn’t know that they’re actually called vulvas until way too late, but we know that now and we learnt how amazing they are and how much there is to do!

If you, too, can’t make yourself orgasm and are wondering, ‘Why can’t I orgasm?’ or how to make another woman have an orgasm, listen in to the episode for some tips, or just to feel less alone!

Special mentions in this episode: The Goop Lab with Gwyneth Paltrow on Netflix