Lucy Sarret explains how, according to the experts, we’re set to learn from our parents’ mistakes.

As cuffing season draws nearer, searches for rings and inquiries about engagement intricacies flood the internet. According to Google Trends, searches for “promise rings for her'' grew by an explosive 4,550% in the last month alone. 

Amid talk of the many ways to commit – non monogamy, friendship soulmates, or situationships – assuming Gen Z don’t subscribe to the hype around commemorating lifelong commitment wouldn't be inconceivable. 

Scrolling through TikTok, videos of users sharing their frustrations over shitty partners and unhealthy situations (with hashtags like #relationshipproblems and #toxicrelationships) have almost 10 billion views each; this is just one place on the internet that hints at younger generations being fed up with traditional relationship structures. 

They might voice their frustration with the complexity of monogamous relationships, and what can actually be gained from them, more than previous generations, but what do Gen Z actually think of the institution of marriage - and all the (st)rings attached?

The Knot Worldwide's Future of Marriage Report of June 2023 found that, surprisingly, 81% of Gen Z expressed an openness to marriage, with excitement and anticipation overshadowing notions of it being outdated. 

This openness suggests a positive reinvention of marriage. As a proud member of Gen Z myself, I would agree that my peers and I view lifelong commitment not as a set of patriarchal, traditional gender roles, but as an evolving partnership based on equality, personal growth, and mutual respect.

Observing the challenges and successes of previous generations, Gen Z seems to have applied these lessons to shape their views on marriage. With a strong focus on mental health and emotional well-being, Gen Z sees marriage as more than a societal expectation.

This could be due to many things, not least the gradual breakdown of the idea of marriage as an economic proposition – as people become more independent and women don’t need a husband to pave their way to freedom – and it becoming more about love and connection. 

People are also getting married later, implying that they have more time to consider it and make the decision for themselves. Gen Z are also the queerest generation yet, which might explain why the traditional institutions seem less appealing to them. 

Marriage for them represents a potential source of emotional support, and stability in a world marked by uncertainty – a platform for deep, supportive connections.

Younger generations are also less likely to divorce – in the US alone, the divorce rate has dropped to 35%. The reason we’re not repeating our parents’ mistakes? Therapy. 

Pretty much everyone my age I know is or has previously been through some sort of therapy, and I would argue we’re all the better for it. Normalising mental health support and prioritising your own well-being only makes you reflect on yourself – and others.

Derek Jacques, a divorce attorney with The Mitten Law Firm, says: “Therapy is a recommendation I make to nearly all clients. [It] helps everyone get a better understanding of what they want from relationships and also gives actionable ways to improve communication.”

Unlike previous generations, we’re more likely to approach relationships with a focus on personal growth, emotional fulfilment, and equal partnership. Gen Z often view relationships as a part of their personal development journey, and the approach to open communication and emphasis on emotional connection could lead to stronger relationship foundations.

Growing up in the digital age has also granted us access to diverse perspectives on commitment. In a twist that would make older generations shake their heads, social media doesn’t only play a negative role in shaping Gen Z's views on marriage. 

While it often highlights the challenges of relationships, and can portray oversimplified ideals, it also shows the joys and benefits of deep, committed partnership. Nowadays, young people are less likely to get married, but have higher expectations when they do – and they’re more likely to make it last, according to Jacques. 

Instead of prioritising an extravagant wedding, it seems that the bond between two committed partners has become much more important. The rings that hopeful spouses-to-be are interested in even signify these changing attitudes to marriage. There’s a surge in interest for unique engagement rings, which mirrors a broader shift in societal values and preferences.

Hussain says: "There's an increasing emphasis on individuality and self-expression. Unique ring designs symbolise personal style and values, moving away from traditional norms. The preference for nature-inspired designs could also indicate a growing consciousness around sustainability and ethical sourcing. They also might be more affordable, and align with the financial realities and priorities of younger couples.”

Kristyn Carmichael, Professional Mediator, Family Attorney, and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst at Couples Solutions Center, also says: “We ‘need’ not ‘want’ to find a partner to share our lives with. We have to be married before we have children. Gen Z [...] tends to see relationships as the relationship itself, not an event or a checkbox.”

Gen Z's focus on finding a lifelong partner reveals both alignments and differences with previous generations. While we still value deep, meaningful connections like our predecessors, the focus on personal growth, emotional fulfilment, and equal partnership differs from previous approaches to marriage.

Despite societal changes, it seems most of us still value marriage, reflecting a nuanced understanding that incorporates both traditional significance and contemporary evolution.

Looking ahead, it seems we just might have it all figured out; our emphasis on personalization and authenticity, a shift towards emotional health and well-being, and the impact of technology and social media are key factors shaping healthy, lasting committed relationships.

But, of course, no one is perfect. We just have to wait and see. Jacques says it best: “I think if trends are to be believed, we will see less marriages but more couples remaining together. As long as the desire for commitment is there then Gen Z can truly have their cake, and eat it too."